I haven’t written in a while, I got stuck. Got lost in-between the words and the feeling, am I writing what I feel, or what others want to read. I have no idea.
I know my times been taking up visiting home, visiting family. Hours spent sharing whiskey with the old man, chasing the cat, avoiding odd strangers who believe to be old “friends of mine”, funny enough a took un unexpected trip to business expo to meet my brothers bit on the side (by bit on the side I mean one of his many music acquaintances’), adventure golf with my Cousin Benjamin John
Over the course of being home, Time moved very fast, also blessed with the most awesome of beginnings to October, a heat wave, yes a heat wave, in October, in England!!. The only place where you can find four seasons within a day.
Finding myself drawn to bigger questions and still very very lost.
What is it to be home?
To be surrounded by the ones you love, the ones who want the world for you?
Those that support you no matter what. Those who are there to call your own. The same as you may feel to another. There is nothing quite like the way family love you. Maybe why I’m so ok, to accept people into mine, Love, I don’t think… is an easy thing to find these days.
In a life, at bottom base, (I don’t know baseball, it may show, I’m not totally sure, but I definitely know that ill end up using “I’m” a lot through this post) with nothing in my pocket but a pen, some paper and some coins to get me through, of course I am the richest man in the world because of the love surrounding me. Right?
Burning up inside. Consumed and choking, I feel small, when I want to reach big. Growing far away from the norm, desperately needing a reality check, one of which I’m running away from as I write, it’s coming, and weather I accept it or not.
Fate catches up to us one way or another.
One thing I have learned and I may have written it before, and a line that is totally stolen from a movie, and is that love makes it home. Love.
With all that’s lost, I still can love. And to me that’s the most beautiful thing in the world.
I’m just looking for adventure, to laugh in the face of danger, so ill keep running, and keep the naughtiness alive.
As I begin to find direction, and to step up and take what I want. I have to rememer to be good to those who are bad to me, to be great for the ones who believe in me.
Just know… I want to share it with you.
The original speech that made me smile.(Below)